i dont exist online
thats ok. not like gandhi did either. haha
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what is a spirit?
i think of it as not occupying matter, obviously. it could be even energy but then u would have to say u come from the sun because thats where most of our energy is from. … so the SUN has to be Gods big…center brain for our energy. but that sun will be exhauted in 4 bil years. imagine the sun that didnt burn.. okay i’m gonna go write a sci fiction story now. hahaha.
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how does popularity work?
seriously. how did harry potter just become the thing all of a sudden, and rambo, and the princess diaries? why isnt real life ever romanticized? you know our emotional responses to things are learned. if we were taught in schools, to enjoy real life then all of us would find being fat and ugly normal and it’s actually awesome (i.e. like ugly betty, hahaha but more relaistic) and that nerd fat white guys with hairy bellies are beautiful physically. (and it can be sexy. not to say that other people dont feel this way about fat white guys, but it would be cool if more people were less physical like that
or the other way around.. death is to be celebrated. i think thats true for vets, like, here in christian faith we mourn, but in some cultures, that’s supposedly awesome.
why cant people say, i want to work 30 hours shifts even if it makes me tired, i want to have taxes, i want to have bills. what if (i hate what if questions) but anyway, people were taught to enjoy things they normally wouldnt enjoy as young people so when they got there as adults it would be like no big freaking deal, and half the planet wouldnt think there was something wrong with them? ahhaha.
i’m always curious how people set up the criteria for school children.. yea psychs did a bunch of tests and supposedly children develop and know diferent things at different ages.. i guess thats how it goes. life is built in steps. its not just some RANDOM occurance then right? i mean a acorn, to tree, to death. there is a sequence to things and its almost linear the way life works.but i’m sure there are exceptions but general is young to old, alhbalh. means life cant be random senseless meanginless… well even electrons travel in these circles…like isnt that WEIRD how bodies seem so mechanical? like God really did build us like machines… there is this general law to all life. in general things all fit according to the bible. i think. idontknow. there was a beginning and there was an end.. right?
we are animals…………………………………… we bleed.we give birth like rhinos in the ace ventura film. its disgusting messy but for some reason technology and white linen clean sheets tricks everyone into thinking we’re not bloody gross animals and we’re civilized. i am AMAZED how thin that line btw a civil human and a animal human can be crossed…ughm. yeah. so heres the weird part…
i should seriously take a fucking religion class. religion really makes me not question things…it puts me into obedient mode when i relaly shouldnt care what people think. when i hurt peoples feelings, i dont relaly hurt them that much, because feelings are just what, a response from your body because of some concept you have about someone and then thats that…. but everyday you walk around allowing yourself to run through this world because u’ve been taught, years of schooling how to behave, what works so you dont piss someone off, balhbalhb.
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the next part that is weird… is how people just go day by day without needing to question these things, the beginning of time. how do people just seem okay to live life on autopilot? buying things because they’re fads for selfish reasons. like why dont people think deeply constantly? okay besides going to the bathroom, you dont have to think about that.. but what if you tried making involuntary responses from your body voluntary? like you know when people hold their breaths.. their body loses O2 and then the entire system malfunctions. i was staring at my hand today, just watching it move.. fine motor skills baby, that can write fondle, and ugh, caresss? or play on instruments…i wonder what the first word was. it was probably water, because thats the first thing u need.. no wait, AIR.. so thats how it worked. god up there decided taht heyh, theres going to be these basic elements.. urgh. i cant imagine god being a chemist.. sitting there and making names for everything. 2,000 years of people just deciding to name things. like bling bling. and apple. and acorn. trees. i find it all weird how we were once children, and we had all this shit taught to us, and you thought everything was absolute, and all that matter was to get from one day to the next, and then our brains became complex, because God wanted them to be complex i guess, and yeah, so now we’re like, oh shit we dont actually know everything thats out in the world, and there are still shit left unexplained, and you will just die, never knowing for sure where u’re going, why we’re here, but if you keep asking these questions, it wouldnt matter because all u really need is to eat, sleep, party, pleasure urself, until the apocalypse. or something. i dont know. thats how it plays out.
“
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what is death like
not that i want todie early or anything.. which sucks because i once remember people who used to ask this question and then they would die. shudder. okay now i hear a weird ringing bell sound. sigh. i wish i could do something amazing, significant, like discover the cure for cancer, or find a lost island or something. i dont know why. then it would make my existence mean something. sure to God my existence is special, i have been called by him, to do his works etc… but i dont know about my faith. i guess that means i’m not a true believer, if i doubt.. right? i dont know anymore…… who i am, what principles i live by. most of the time it’s just do no harm, dont hurt anyone unnncessarily, and ugh dont kill anyone, that seems to be the basic natural law for everyone in the world. dont eat anyone, dont molest children, dont cheat, lie steal, unless you’re doing it for a nobler sense like protecting jews from nazis.. that’s what i always get. i guess i’m a bit of both. i have realized now, that i cannot call myself absolutely ANYTHING, because not even judas himself, or even jesus’ disciples could do that…not even saints could do that. would i call myself a saint? not even… so i wouldn’t be so proud to think i could abide by gods law all the time, or to think that i am immune to sin.. jesus expects me to fail, fall into temptation, suffer, he knows the weakness of my flesh.. so i guess thats how that works… i have always been very judgmental of people and i think this serves a two edged sword… i can also be very tolerant at the same time intolerant. i can be quite calculating at the same time very easy going and forgetful. i have learned not to label myself, and i guess you could say i am a chamelleon, constantly shifting and adapting to my environment to ensure my survival. i guess i take the whole lamb play dead route instead of the i’m an exotic looking frog or snake so don’t eat me because i might be poisonous. .. but i am not a fucking animal, i always tell myself that i’m not an animal, that i am a woman. whatever i am an animal. where was i? my belief system. i wonder if i was born in in alaska (why alaska? i dont know, a place where there are a lot of heathens i guess), adopted, among a family that was agnostic, how would i feel about all these other people believing in God? would i try to conform to the social norm and become a follower of God? i wonder how all these people started believing in God and in Jesus.. well they saw his miracles so that’sa how that happened. supposedly catholicism is the oldest religion. i should’ve taken a religion class.. i can’t believe somse people out there ‘believe’ that shit is sacred. haha. uhm, ok. I also wonder about death…. ive been thinking a lot about myself.. how i really am. i am developing of an awareness of what i like, of what really matters, of what needs to be done in this world to make it meaningful… why dont i like hurting eople to seek my own ends? why do i constantly feel unhappy all the time? is it because i perceive my friends to have more fun than me? is the media telling me that i need things to be happy? can be people be happy being still, quiet, and thoughtful? why do people need to be constantly running around, doing things just to be content?
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why am i depressed? i have no clue. it can be a result of the weather… or the fact that i did absolutely nothing useful all day except go to the library and get some books. i got a faerie book, twilight, and an incest book. hahahaha. disturbing much? i told myself i wouldn’t get twilight that it’s a stupid ridiculous sap story, but i want to know how creep ed cullen is when he stalks bella.. i might try his tactics. i would actually be weird enough to find that stalking crap romantic. hahaha. anyway, my mom got bitchy at me because i didn’t return the DVD volver for practically two weeks or something. the lady who told me said volver in a spanish accent so i’m pretty sure she has seen the film! how was i supposed to know it was in her room still? i thought i returned that shit after i returned it with my soundtracks!! the soundtracks from the library smell like homeless people. i dont’ want to imagine where the fuck these soundtracks end up since they stink so much. anyhoot, the librarian grinned at me when i asked for twilight.. “did you notice me grinning? i hope you enjoy it.. blahbalh” yay! i was CONVERSATIONAL today with random people. i always admire people who just have motormouths and arent afraid to speak their minds. i’m really quiet which irritates the crap outta me (more than it irritates you) because i have no idea why talking is so ‘frightening.’ besides if you say something retarded, people will forgive you. or they’ll hold a grudge. ahhaha. dunno. i’m just rambling. like i said earlier, i was using my acrylics.. i got this really nice $10 acryclic set at michaels.. i thought it would be 5 dollars, but no, the cashier lady said that $10 was already the sale price. if it was that other young boy cashier, he would’ve given it to me for give dollars. “i think this product is already on sale..” and he still gave it to me for 50% off! so sale plus coupon. tada! he was really cool.. and cute… probably a freshman though. in highschool. jk. ugh, so yeah, i have painted some nice stuff.. i actually thought about applying to art school.. it suits my personality more than nursing does… but nursing is okay since i dont bore myself to death. my mom was bitchy.. yea, mentioned stuff about how are you going to survive he real world if you’re so tirresponsible etcetc.. thats why you failed. well boofucking hoo. my mom can be a bitch sometimes. then there’s my bro who’s like what’s the fight about? he’s soo nosey, like go away, i dont barge into your room when you’re with your gf and you do.. things. seriously.ugh. i am eating too many chestnuts.
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i watched the movie “valkyrie,” with tom cruise. so i looked up crap about hitler as it turns out he wanted to be an artist. isn’t that something? i’m just painting with my new arcylics because if i sit around and do nothing i’m going to start feeling sorry for myself. it’s amazing how FAST time can pass you by especially when you dont want it to… it’s already saturday, i thought it was friday. i haven’t done the stupid things i wanted to do.. like club, drink, socialize, museums, drive, get a job, get nclex books. i haven’t done a FRACTION of what i’m supposed to be doing. now i can’t add theater arts.. shit shit shit. why would i take such a useless class? so i can get some assertive/talking skills in me. i think if i go on stage i will get over my fear of talking to people. sue keeps fucking calling me. what the fuck. arghhhhhhhh. GO AWAY! oh nevermind she wants me to go to this retreat thing. i have nothing better to do from M-W so i guess i could go… hahaha. but urgh i’m too scared to call her back and get details. the worse that can happen? nothing am i just lazy? FUCK!
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merry christmas!!!!!!!
i’m happy. today was a good day. saw my family. got gifts. had some chestnuts. balhbalhba. i’m happy.
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It doesn’t matter how many times you fail. It doesn’t matter how many times you almost get it right. No one is going to know or care about your failures, and neither should you. All you have to do is learn from them and those around you because… All that matters in business is that you get it right once. Then everyone can tell you how lucky you are.
Mark Cuban – Business – Luck – Failure
Success breeds complacency. Complacency breeds failure. Only the paranoid survive.
Andrew Grove – Success – Failure <————- LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Speech has allowed the communication of ideas, enabling human beings to work together to build the impossible. Mankind’s greatest achievements have come about by talking, and its greatest failures by not talking. It doesn’t have to be like this. Our greatest hopes could become reality in the future. With the technology at our disposal, the possibilities are unbounded. All we need to do is make sure we keep talking.
Stephen Hawking – Human Race – Possible – Communication – Ideas – Achievement – Failures – Hope – Technology – Talk
There was never any fear for me, no fear of failure. If I miss a shot, so what?
Michael Jordan – Sports – Fear – Failure
Obstacles are necessary for success because in selling, as in all careers of importance, victory comes only after many struggles and countless defeats.
Og Mandino – Obstacles – Success – Selling – Victory – Struggle – Important – Career – Failure
Success is not built on success. It’s built on failure. It’s built on frustration. Sometimes its built on catastrophe.
Sumner Redstone – Challenges – Failure – Success – Frustration
No one ever won a chess game by betting on each move. Sometimes you have to move backward to get a step forward. — Amar Gopal Bose
Most people give up just when they’re about to achieve success. They quit on the one yard line. They give up at the last minute of the game, one foot from a winning touchdown.– Ross Perot
Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.– Denis Waitley
People in their handlings of affairs often fail when they are about to succeed. If one remains as careful at the end as he was at the beginning, there will be no failure.– Lao-Tzu
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It is a mistake to suppose that men succeed through success; they much oftener succeed through failures. Precept, study, advice, and example could never have taught them so well as failure has done.
It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause, who at best knows achievement and who at the worst if he fails at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
From a speech given in Paris at the Sorbonne in 1910
I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.
Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.
The deep root of failure in our lives is to think, ‘Oh how useless and powerless I am.’ It is essential to think strongly and forcefully, ‘I can do it,’ without boasting or fretting.”
Tenzin Gyatso, The 14th Dalai Lama quotes
If you’re doing your best, you won’t have any time to worry about failure.”
Remember that failure is an event, not a person” Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald
They say President Wilson has blundered. Perhaps he has, but I notice he usually blunders forward. ~Thomas Edison
Act as if it were impossible to fail.
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